So...Leadership...
I can honestly say that I saw it coming. I don't know how I should react. I already know what majority of the people think. The thing that threw me off though is the reaction from people is not what I expected. I feel proud, but I also feel confused or weird about it all.
So, Band Leadership, is something that has really influenced and changed me to become a better person. I still have flaws, but I strive to be perfect and influential, and just plain wonderful. I applied in these roles: President, Drum Major, Woodwind Captain, Librarian. In the program, students are allowed to have multiple jobs. The thing though is in 8th grade, I held 2 of the most important jobs that someone would die for in band: President & Drum Major...in all honesty, I dreaded that year; I gave up towards the last few months of the school year because I learned to regret how I was seen as a leader and as a friend. This sort of influenced how I felt when applying for these jobs; I was at a fork in the road so to say, and I did not know which job I wanted more. To be President would have proven to be a great accomplishment because I would be walking in the steps of a role model that inspired me to be who I am today, and she was deemed as the perfect student. But, to be Drum Major would have been a chance to redeem myself as a leader, and discover the skills that I would have used back then. Woodwind Captain and Librarian were past positions that I have held in the past two years.
It was hard when I was asked by my director which role I wanted more, Drum Major or President. I did not know, especially since I had this plan in my head since Freshmen Year: I have this friend, who is like my best friend in the music world, and she had the qualities and potential to become The Greatest Drum Major known in the program. I always envisioned us as a pair; she would be Drum Major and I would be President, and we would help the program expand and grow, just like how we both grown in our individual musical journey. But, she has grown to dislike the program each year she's been in it, and decided to not continue it for the fall. I was devastated, but I understood her reason for leaving. I wasn't going to beg and plead with her to stay. Yes, I was upset, but I trusted she was doing the right thing.
Because of that, I was left with the dreadful decision of which role I wanted more. You would think I would still just stick to wanting President, but because the position for Drum Major was up for people who had a chance, I wanted to audition for it. The entire application process for leadership made me relive some past auditions for leadership in the past. I felt like I was walking through some cobbled steps in a forrest where the dark woods would lead to some opening, and I could see that opening to be one of the auditions or approach to joining leadership. I left it up to God and faith, and whoever controlled my life to see what was best for the program.
It was great, and I was proud to have gotten the role of Band President, Woodwind Captain, and Librarian for the 2015-2016 school year. I was happy for my opponent who got Drum Major, but although I am anxious to see what she does, I will have trust in her that she will do great. As for the reactions though....many complained about why I didn't get that one position. My mom's initial reaction threw me off as she yelled why I didn't get Drum Major. That was fun...Others have commented towards me about why I didn't get the role they wanted me to get. In the end though, I have found my peace with drum major, and will move on to a role that I actually gave up in 8th grade (halfway through my 8th grade year, I gave up the role of president and kept DM). I cannot wait to see what is in store for me, and I will do my best to bring the program back on its feet.
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